I love torturing Meany Greenies; it’s almost as fun as getting riots started at Buddhist meetings. Was Buddha really bald? Or was it just a hairstyle choice to look cool and start movement of “Ohm” lovers?
So here’s what I do when doing in store demonstrations, naturally these people don’t know I own the company or anything about green cleaners.
When people ask me if my industrial strength cleaning products are “green” I pour it into a clear glass and say “look its green”.
They then say “but that’s just food colouring”.
To which I respond “yes its green food colouring, really pretty shade of green isn’t it”?
That’s not what I meant.
Ooh really what did you mean?
I meant is it environmentally friendly?
Friendly, friendly, it’s a cleaning fluid; it doesn’t have a personality, have you being smoking something?
No, no, no that’s not what I meant; I meant does it hurt the environment?
Well only if the environment hurts it first, self defence is perfectly legal you know.
That’s crazy!!!
Well hey; you’re the one that gave the inanimate object a personality, who’s calling who crazy here?, Hey look you must have shocked it, the shade of green is changing colour, you must of hurt its feelings.
Ooh my god the cleaner has feelings?
You really must be nuts, shocking a liquid means you change the chemistry, just like wine turns into vinegar. By the way what are you smoking that must be really good stuff?
AAAAAAHHHH, look would you just tell me if the stuff is toxic so I can figure out if I want to buy a bottle?
We’ll it does have this little double swan thingy on the label, but just to be sure, let’s look it up in the book,
What book?
How to kill your cleaning staff, a step by step manual.
That’s crazy
Look we already went over the crazy thing, lets try to be practical and go to a hire authority,
Well what does it say?
It says it will make you puke if you drink it
Well that’s terrible, if its not toxic I should be able to drink it.
Why would you want to drink a cleaner? Are you nuts? Ooh sorry rhetorical question
Look I just want to know if the cleaner will hurt me?
Didn’t we already cover this?
Hey wait a minute you’re the guy in the book.
No, no, no he just looks like me, hey did you know this stuff is great for cleaning bongs
Really, hey that’s great let me buy a bottle.
Only if you promise not to hurt it.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
to learn what green really means, can download a free copy of How to Kill your Cleaning Staff, a really sane guide to cleaning on the main www.Oillift.net web site